the · tragical · comedy · or · comical · tragedy · of · mr. · punch

my parents had a party tonight. some of their friends are the most vulgar people ever....which means i am constantly choking on my food from laughter.
speaking of, we had baby roach sandwiches with mayonnaise-banana squirrel cookies. mmmmmmm.

i hate television. specifically for advertising, at the moment. commercials are some of the most obnoxious and grating assaults ever created. as much as i hate the radio, television has the added visual component, doubling the annoyance. when watching tv with other people, i can tolerate commercials, but by myself, they are always muted. they say tv rots your brain for a reason. if you consider the amount of time an average commercial has and the amount of information it needs to cram in that time, combined with several decade's worth of market research employed for maximum impact upon the viewer, you can hopefully understand the effect the constant attention shifts and images have on your focus. watching tv is passive for the viewer, but if you are tuned to a show that has many commercial breaks, your mind will eventually exhaust itself by trying to keep up with all of the information. movies are thankfully out of this category, in my opinion anyway, so my anger should really be directed towards advertising, although now my only options are to pay for services that omit commercials (comcast on demand), continue to mute (only half the battle, as the visual is still present) or just turn it off. i can, but my family isn't so interested in advertising affects and are able to block noise, therefore it is often on. i should probably invest in a good set of earplugs before i smash the tv and have to invest in a new one for them. arghhhhhhhhhhhh.

and now, back to writing a paper with background commercial bombardment.

lord byron was lucky. right place, right time. i would just get arrested. a tombstone will be my concrete graffiti after i'm gone. when i was twelve, the ouija board warned me about my impending doom, and if it proves to be true, i've got three and a half years left. it's time to fucking conquer.

feral children.

this discovery special is pretty good
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsfvSWljqpc

the dog-girl is almost unbelievable.

AwEsOmE sTuFf!
(it took me like a minute to get the alternating capitalization/lower case text correct...those idiots who can do this quickly suck at life)

- going to get my pay in a minute, i actually have enough this week to buy very much needed items such as new bras. as exciting as this may not be for you, it is for me, as i am sick of under-wire poking through the material, making my life very uncomfortable. once again, i know you don't care, but i'm am relieved. hopefully i have some left over for canvas and brushes.
- received approval for a questionable mythology project idea. i'm going to contain the details now in case they change, but i think this is going to be pretty awesome to work on.
- skipped two classes this morning. this meant no ridiculous christianity exam, so now i have two more days to study. no english class either...i like my english class but i needed sleep, and it was wonderful. i'm going to bed early tonight.
- one week without cigarettes...a few headaches, but nothing major, and overall i feel better already. the sugar and caffeine are going in baby steps. at least let me have those for now.
- no extreme plans this week, which provides me with time to indulge in my typical anti-social behavior. this is NOT a negative factor for me. anti-social is not a synonym for entirely misanthropic. i'll hopefully hang out with a couple people, but i don't want a lot of noise.
- lots of books from the library.
- as work schedules have changed for a few family members, i will have most of the evenings entirely to myself. I FINALLY HAVE ALONE TIME WITH MY PIANO. this will be the first time in years i have had this opportunity. i must now get back into playing regularly, hopefully learning enough tom waits songs to play/sing in dark, seedy atlantic city casino lounges and bars for at least a little dough. pretty sweet side job if you ask me. going out tonight to look for some sheet music, otherwise i have to steal my mom's credit card to buy some online. i'm trying to play shit like that in bars and i potentially need my mommy's credit card in order to do so. i'm pretending to be 50, but really, i'm 5. if it is not obvious, do not repeat it, or i will have to slaughter you to save some kind of face.


so, yeah. stuff can be cool. fuck everything that sucks.

obviously i have not admitted my defeat to sugar but you can be certain it won.
i had been thinking about quitting smoking for awhile now, and decided to give it a full attempt starting next monday, but i got a head start today. i smoked a cigarette before my 11 am class, and put them back in my always-cluttered and very useless bag. after this class i had lunch and wanted to have a cigarette before i went into the library, but they must have fallen out (or had been stolen, either is ok by me). i determined that this was a sign to quit then, cause i'm spooky like that. i haven't craved one yet. the coffee wasn't really a battle, as i usually need it on my way to school and before my last class...but i was too late to stop this morning and i skipped the last class, thereby essentially forcing coffee to forfeit. it will probably win tomorrow as i have to work at 9 am and i hate everything when i am there. it will reeeeeeeeally be hard to not use a smoke break as an excuse to escape the 10th circle of bitchiness. you're wrong if you're saying dante didn't include a 10th circle. he did. it's rare to find an intact copy because he was so concerned about bitchy backlash that he kept it quiet. hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn for everything.
i do like a few things very much though.

i think i have too many indulgent bad habits. i'm fairly certain, actually. a person can't really sustain themselves with sugar, caffeine, and cigarettes and not feel shitty. as much as i hate to see them go, i know i'd feel much better and have a hell of a lot more energy if i cut back drastically on all of it.

obviously i am promoting the change of the title of "chiller theater" to "pedophile theater." i know it isn't very creative, but it gets the point across. my supporting details:

1. old men with staring problems and mutton chops should not be allowed to carry around polaroid cameras in a little case should they feel the urge to take photos of feet to feed their nasty, nasty fetish. we ran from him.

1. old men in army costumes should not be allowed to talk to my friend (carol) about anime after asking if she was asian. you're a 60 year+ dude who is REALLY into anime. as many times as you pull the "art" card to justify your odd yet devoted interest, we still know you just like little asian girls. get away from us and especially my friend. and DON'T take any more pictures. thanks.

3. do not talk to me about cars and then attempt to hit on me by saying "you must get pulled over a lot." are you serious? i haven't been pulled over since 2004 (knock on wood), and that doesn't even make sense. following up your stupid statement by offering us any and all of your alcohol (that happened to be in your car) led us to a lame excuse to get away from your ulterior motived ass. (for the record, this dude wasn't even old, he was just weird). sure, i've been talking to you for three minutes, i'd love to get into what is probably a white van with no windows and drink your roofie-alcohol elixir. get a doll, perv.

ok, these are a few minor incidents which probably don't help my cause much, but seriously, all you have to do is walk through there (if you are a young female) or, if a dude, walk through with a girl, and let the disgusting vulnerability unfold.

despite all that, i had fun with carol, met a couple sweet actors, and ate some AWESOME chocolate cake.

the rest of my weekend ruled. a lot. now i just have to plan a way to get out of my religion test tomorrow, and i will be free to eat candy, drink cider, watch halloween, and scare the shit out of some costumed kids.

i'm going to force myself to resume a real diary instead of typing lots of bullshit on here and then erasing it after i realize i actually do like my privacy and that most people don't care. mr. punch and his nonsense babble, quite like my own, will return at some point.

it's late, obviously, but i want to talk about a difference between a concept described to me as "first world complaining" vs. "third world complaining". before anyone gets all worked up, don't, because this isn't targeting anyone in particular, unless you consider the united states a person, i guess. even then it's not an attack on the united states as much as it is an observation on the relativity of the human condition.
it's pretty self-explanatory, but to give you an example:
first world complaint: "i need to renew my gym membership. i'm so out of shape. it's expensive, but it includes use of the sauna, so that's cool. but if i pay for that, i won't be able to afford that coat i want. i have a bunch of coats but that one rules, and the others are from last year anyway. i'm hungry, there's a lot to eat here, but nothing is appealing to me. i should go to bed soon...i have to get up early to get a cavity filled, ugh."

third world complaint: "today a few soldiers came to my home and demanded we give them money. we don't really have any, but we gave them what we could. as soon as we handed it over they opened fire on us. in the chaos i lost two children but managed to escape with my wife and little daughter. a bullet hit the baby's arm, the upper half is basically destroyed, and we have to try to get to a makeshift medical area to see if we can get some help. i have no idea if my other children are alive. we are now homeless without any money or clothing."

that first example is shit we hear everyday; the second one is true (watch doctors without borders). obviously i do my fair share of complaining, but i keep trying to put it in perspective. it really upsets me. i feel guilty about everything i have and then mouthing off over some trivial detail. "do not accumulate wealth while millions are starving" is a pretty good fucking philosophy to me. hopefully i won't feel different if ever in the position where abundant wealth were available.

and concerning the quest for wealth - the dude from coliseum said some good things about time and money when they played in july or august, whenever it was. i can't quote him word for word but the jist was this: "i have a few old friends who now work on wall street. every now and then i catch up with them. some used to skate and they'll mention some good spots they see but can never try out because they don't have time. they'll tell me how they're jealous because i can pretty much do whatever i want. yeah, being in a band and whatnot doesn't really give me the most comfortable position in life, but i can basically do whatever i want...you see, they have a shitload of money, but no time to do anything, whereas i have no money, but all the fucking time in the world."
that said, i just want enough to be able to do whatever i want to do and have some space for myself. i don't need a ton of shit. i might end up teaching in the future, hopefully at a college, which is something i'd actually be interested in doing, and that definitely provides enough for me to be fine. i'm going to stop babbling but i'm going to type a few short things.

-"we spend money we don't have on shit we don't need" -george carlin, aka the man

-17 people die per minute from hunger. - colors #56, 2003

-amount of money an amazonian mahogany log is worth in finished products: $130,000. maximum amount paid to indians per log from their lands(negotiated only after the tree has been felled): $25. person linked to the 5 export companies that control the mahogany market in brazil, and what he earns: moises carvalho pereira, $1 million per day. - colors #56, 2003

you don't have to tell me to shut up, my rant is over. egh.

i am merely a girl with a teeny paranoid scarab rattling in my skull. it sounds scarier than it seems, this dreaded restless bastard. i just need to cut the shit and stop worrying so much. or maybe watch bill and ted. or maybe point break. or maybe anything else where keanu reeves plays the only roles he can properly perform without coming off as the worst actor ever. i don't even like keanu reeves but his attitude in bill and ted and kurt russell's attitude in point break are to almost be admired. almost.

i'm going to finish my homework now. i'm really good at setting myself up for distraction.

three days have been nothing but cleaning and schoolwork. i feel strange and have a foreboding vibe around me. that's nothing new, though, so oh well. it's just a shame the feelings are usually right soon after they appear. i should have been the oracle of doom at delphi.

my mom just told me that we may have to put one of our dogs to sleep this weekend - he is a chihuahua, and perfectly healthy, but he is vicious. we have had him for about nine years, and we can obviously handle him, considering his size - but my 10 month old niece is with us a lot and he has been growling, showing teeth, etc, and could seriously harm her. if you think you'd be able to take him, and are not concerned with dealing with his temper, please let me know. assholes need not apply - if you beat my dog out of frustration i will kill you.

tonight, after dinner, i opened a bottle of "brambleberry tea." i have never been in the presence of a brambleberry, nor do i even suspect they actually exist. anyway, the tea was dark violet, and i should have sensed something amiss, considering the teas from this company are typically somewhat clear. i smelled it first, as i tend to do with everything, and nothing out of the ordinary struck me so i took a sip. i swear, it tasted like blueberry pie, crust and all. it actually seemed to work exactly the way willy wonka's three course gum works, minus one course - the first taste was totally blueberry, the aftertaste was the crust. i hate blueberry pie, and blueberries in general, but i had to take another sip. after i confirmed the taste myself i made everyone in my family who was at home try it as well, and they all agreed on how bizarre but real the taste was. hopefully i won't start turning blue or violet or whatever color represents brambleberries - and i don't want to be juiced by creepy orange tiny men with deep voices who randomly burst into song. but seriously, try this if you doubt me, it's made by tazo. just don't say i didn't warn you if you wake up looking like violet beauregarde.

venom was awesome. that is because i wasn't there, and whenever something comes around that i want to see and i miss it, it is described as "awesome" or "amazing" or "really good". this has happened numerous times in the past - let's see what we can think of off the tops of our heads, no? here goes.

in no particular order, as usual:

boris at the church. not the last show, the one before that. i made it to the last show and left halfway through because i almost passed out in the heat. i am a huge weakling when it comes to heat. i hate hate hate it, and when i am in it, i am miserable. so i sort of missed them AGAIN.

cat power at the church, 2002? i was a junior in high school and i had to take the train home. she showed up two hours late, forcing me to sell my ticket and walk back to the station with a hanging head. i was told it was one of her best shows ever.

fu manchu at the khyber. i don't even have a valid excuse. i'm just lame. at least i kept a poster when i was putting them up.

jonathan richman at the khyber. i don't even know how it went, but if it involved him, it was probably awesome. put down your cigarette and act like a true girl.

high on fire at the TLA, two new years eves ago? i don't remember exactly. it was new years. i don't even know what state i was in. probably an intoxicated one. and i'm sure i punched myself in the face later.

this list will be continued later as i have to make a very important call because i am a very important person and i do not have time to write in detail about the minor details of my very important life.